This is not a bad idea at all! I believe that many would be fond of the situation, perhaps Pace’s boss? 😉 Check out the article below.
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Category: Stories from N.C.
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Fishin’
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Mississippi recently with two
ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove well-known for its
fishing.
The game warden asked, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
“Naw, sir”, replied the redneck. “I ain’t got none of them there
licenses. You see, these here are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?”
“Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let
’em swim ’round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right
back into these here ice chests and I take ’em home.”
“That’s a bunch of crap! Fish can’t do that.”
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, “It’s the
truth Mr. Government Man. I’ll show ya. It really works!”
“Okay.” said the warden. “I’ve got to see this!”
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, “Well?”
“Well, what?”, says the redneck.
The warden says, “When are you going to call them back?”
“Call who back?”
“The FISH’, replied the warden!”
The redneck said, “What fish?”
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers but
we ain’t as dumb as some government employees.
You can say what you want about the South but you never hear of anyone
retiring and moving north.
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Ty’s EFY Experience
Well as pace has said before, here at Mcblog we aim to serve. So in response to a few requests i’m writing about how my EFY went. I went to Buena Vista VA, which after going, i wouldn’t reccomend to anyone. The campus was bad, the campus staff was there setting theyre own rules for EFY members to follow, and it definately was not as good as Gainsville GA. But of course at EFY you have fun no matter how bad things get. So of course it was very spirtiual, very fun, all the people i met were great, and by the end of the week they were my best friends.
On the first day we were supposed to come up with a cheer for the group, no one had any good ideas, so i suggested using the batman song, and shouting our name at the end of it. Everyone liked that idea, and from that moment on everyone called me batman.
Now just for T-mom
What i learned- Always bring earplugs, cause your roomate could be the loudest snorer you’ve ever heard. And that singing the EFY medley on friday is the best part of the whole EFY. (but i knew that from last year)
Who came with me- A bunch of guys from my ward, specifically Johnny W. Michael W. Alex D. and Ethan T. If anyone knows any of them.
Who I flirted with- I flirted with no one, they all flirted with me, duh. But realizing were there for a week, then will only talk to eachother again by internet, text message, or phone, thought that there was no need for more-than-friend relationships.
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Memories
One of the things we will take with us when we die is memories. I wanted to share a couple of memories with ya’ll before anyone continues to that point. First comes from back home in NC from my teenage years. Since I was about twelve years old I’ve lived in a house in NC. When we moved in, the boys got the cool option of having cork board installed on an entire wall in their bedrooms. Shortly after, Cotton filled his with posters, art, and other such things. I on the other hand had a few posters of my idols, the teenage mutant ninja turtles, and the rest of the cork board was filled with targets. Targets of all shapes and sizes, bad guy silhouettes, bright round orange circles, pictures of highschool teachers… anything really. I had been given a low powered dart gun that shot BBs, pellets, and darts. It was great, plus it wasn’t powerful enough to go through the cork board. Well as I matured and became more interested in different weapons, and I have no idea why I was allowed to, but I ended up with some ninja throwing stars. Some with long tips and very sharp, others just sharp enough to stick into drywall. Well I threw those at the targets almost everyday, ignoring the idea that they were going through the corkboard into the drywall. In addition, I set a BB trap box (thank Boy Scouts) at the base of the wall. I had lots of fun. Last week, Mom and Dad took all the cork board off the walls. I quote Dad’s email: “Attempting to fix the holy wall today… biggest hole seemed to be at the bottom near the baseboard… upon closer inspection… I discovered remnants of perhaps, a Civil War battle?
Ya’ll may want to save these for future reference as your own children might inherit your destructive tendencies.
Or so I hope. -dad”
Unfortunately there isn’t a picture of the second story. Yesterday I was helping McGowan move into his new house. I was driving a pick up truck with a couch, box spring, and a king sized mattress. Heading north on University Ave, we hit about 40 mph, and a big gust of wind came, lifting the KING sized mattress off the bed of the truck snapping the twine and spining it into the middle of the lane. I quickly stopped, backed up and McGowan and I threw it back on top while a crowd of cars watched on. Later on in the day we had a good laugh about how high it flew. That is a good memory.
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Yet another Story
Sorry for the frequent posts, but I found a verrrry interesting story or two from last night. So as most of the McCullochs who have lived in our house know.. our power goes out quite often. For some reason our circut thingy just isn’t very good. So it’s Sunday night, having family home evening, and talking about how to recognize spirits, good and bad. Dad goes “And remember when there’s a bad spirit, you’ll shake his hand and you can’t feel it. KAAWHOM! Every light in the house (and half of charlotte) goes out. Dad then says “Well lets NOT TRY IT NOW” Yes that was funny, now on to story numero dos! So we didn’t know that more than just our neighberhood was out, when our good friend johnny calls. He asks if we have power. That’s wierd because the Williams NEVER lose power. We usually go to their house when we lose power. So we decided to go out driving, to see how much was out. We get in the car with flashlights and all and drive out. We see over half the arboretum is completely dark, and everything past that was also. (locals: taco bell’s side and on was out, wal mart and past was still on) So we drive around and decide to stop at the Williams just for the heck of it. Dad suggests we go around the back to scare the crap out of them.. heh heh heh. So we do, we go around very stealthily, walk onto the deck and point flash lights into their house, we see Johnny jump, and run upstairs, we keep doing it and see elizabeth jump too. So we decided we were done and went to the front. We get to the door to find elizabeth standing there on the phone and when she sees us DIVES to the floor in the room next to her. Then when we knock on the door she peeks out, sees us, opens the door, and screams at us. We then hear the story of how johnny saw a light, ran upstairs and got out his super sharp knife (it’ll kill somone) and elizabeth told their parents, who both didn’t believe them. It reminded us of one of those movies were kids are actualy telling the truth but the parents don’t believe them so the kids are left to save the world. Yes well sorry for such a long post. But it was an extensive story.
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Epsom Salt
Pace mentioned Epsom salt in the post revealing myself as an author, and my mom read it and suggested i told the story. So here goes..
Mom was gone to Utah for the 2 weeks, and we (my dad, me, and my best friend johnny) were going to ci-ci’s. (An excellent speciality pizza buffet) On the way there in the car, johnny is sittin in the back and is being regular curious johnny, and looking around. He finds a bag of white powdery, shelly, salty, like stuff. And goes “Why do you have cocaine in your car?” Me and dad look at each other and dad says “Must be mom’s secret stash.. Lemme see it” While driving opens up the bag, smells it, looks at it, puts a bit on his finger.. and.. Sticks the finger in his mouth. He immediantly spits it out and makes the wierdest “This is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted in my life” face I’ve ever seen. Me and johnnny (johnny and I sorry) begin laughing. I pull out my cell phone and call mom. She picks up.. here is what was said.. “Hello?” “Mom why do you have a bag of cocaine in the car?” “(gasp) Did you get pulled over??!” “hahahaha no dad just ate some, what is it?” “HAHA he ate some!?” “yeah what is it?” “It’s epsom salt” “It’s epsom salt dad.. what’s that?” “It’s stuff I soak my foot in.”
Yeah we laughed some more as dad decided he couldn’t eat very much pizza with foot taste in his mouth.